What Is Self Love?

by Charlotte Underwood

Mental Health Advocate and Author, Charlotte Underwood, gives us more insight to the ever so importance of "self love".

Have you considered that self-love is more than just a healthy diet and a good pamper night?

Self-love is about how you treat yourself. There is a lot of bad reputation around the concept as people see it as selfish, though being selfish is not a bad thing unless it harms another. I think people confuse selfishness with entitlement; the two things are very different.

I am happy to say that I am incredibly selfish, I can, and I will put myself first when or as I need too. The truth is that years after being your textbook people pleaser, which left me incredibly deflated, I realized that I deserved more. I had lived my life like I was a slave to others, I completely forgot that I was a human too; imagine that, existing and completely forgetting yourself?

It took me up until my twenties to realise that I am allowed to say ‘no’ or cancel plans without giving a detailed reasoning for it. I realised that there are more options than just the given and that I do not need to follow the same path as my peers.

You see, I doubt that when the cavemen existed, that they were all worrying about what brand of clothes they were wearing, what weight they were or when they will get their mortgage. Society oppresses us all and we let it. Self-love is about remembering your own worth and allowing yourself to access it.

When you can live your life for yourself, and not for others, it’s rather beautiful because you find the respect that you had lost for yourself. You realise that you matter just as much as anyone else, and that classes and status do not matter; they never did. We are all human, we are all made the same, society is just a created social construction; do you see the thing we are doing wrong?

Life is incredibly hard, and I believe that we do have a hard habit of making life harder than it is. So, if you have been worried about a choice you need to make, consider the actual cost, remember that nothing is more valuable than your own life or happiness. You do not need to drive, get a mortgage, get married or even work.

Society has forgotten about what life really is, it’s a rare chance that we are given, there are no rules or regulations. Our only goal is to survive, to live and to experience as much as we can – livening is about emotions, happiness, sadness and everything in-between; it has never been about the materials used.

Take a moment to breathe, think about the things that really matter to you, the things that are timeless. Allow yourself to see those things, keep those things, do those things. You don’t need to follow rules or directions, all you need is that inner compass and the understanding that you are allowed to be selfish, as long as you are always kind.

Author: Charlotte Underwood

Mental Health Advocate and Author

Follow her on Twitter: @CUnderwoodUK

Follow her blog: https://charlotteunderwoodauthor.wordpress.com